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My bracket is in shambles right now so discussing the tournament is just too painful for me.  Suffice it to say that I trusted Pitt too much and gave Memphis more credit than they deserved for cruising through a shitty conference.  Luckily, there are plenty of other things to talk about.  Today I’ll hit on Mel Kiper’s transformation into Stephen A. Smith, a city boiling over with NHL love, and how you are failing at raising your kids.

Mel Kiper, The White Stephen A. Smith?
 
Over
the past few weeks, ESPN draft gurus Mel Kiper and Todd McShay have had
some heated debates/lover’s quarrels. 
While McShay seems to have no problem keeping his composure, Mel and
his hair helmet freak out over anything and everything.  I don’t know
if he’s been taking pointers from Stephen A. Smith, ESPN’s resident
loudmouth know-nothing, but something has changed in old Mel.  Check
the link and fast forward to the middle of the clip to watch Mel go
nuclear.
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyBSRYAQ2DY&feature=related
 
I
love that ESPN has recently been host to these battles where the
general rule seems to be that he who yells loudest is victorious.  Jay
Bilas and Dick Vitale almost strangled each other after the tournament
selections came out, and McShay and Kiper keep appearing on my
television to bicker like an old married couple.  The weird part is that
ESPN seems to love it because not only don’t they try to steer the
discussion back on topic and into a more civilized tone, they replay
the arguments later as if they’re proud to be host to this afternoon
talk show garbage.  They can’t decide if they want to be professionals
or talk show hosts, and I’m getting more and more confused.  They wear
suits, yet they spout pop culture references ad nauseum.  They pay Ed
Werder to live in the basement of Cowboy stadium and do hard
journalism, yet half of their programming is sportswriters arguing with
each other.  Are you sports news or are you MTV Sports?  Make up your
minds already.
 
Columbus is Ready to Embrace the Blue Jackets

As
I write this, the Columbus Blue Jackets are in a battle for their
playoff lives.  Their hold on a playoff spot is a little more tenuous
after a rough weekend that featured two losses to division rival St.
Louis.  Before the season, there wasn’t much buzz surrounding the
team.  The honeymoon period ended after a few years of regular season failure.  They had never come close to making the playoffs, and it
appeared as if Rick Nash wasn’t surrounded with quite enough to get
them there this year.  Then Steve Mason happened.  A few injuries to
Jackets goalies early on led to playing time for the budding
superstar.  All he’s done is carry a decent but not overwhelming team
within a few games of this city’s first postseason hockey game.
And
Columbus is ready. 

As a perk of my internship at NBC in Columbus, I’ve
had the honor of sitting in the pressbox for a about a dozen Jackets
games this season.  As the year has gone on, and with improbable wins
piling up, the crowds have continued to grow.  Now every game is a near
sellout, and the Jackets, unlike in year’s past, have yet to
disappoint.  It’s quite an experience watching a team come back from
the dead and all the fanfare that accompanies that transformation.  But make no mistake about it, these next six games are make or break for the franchise.  If they choke, don’t expect the same support next year.
 
Parenting Advice From a 22-Year-Old

Let me start by saying that I don’t have any kids, but because I’m
around a lot of people in their late teens and early 20s, I get to
admire parental failure on a daily basis.  I’m far from perfect, but I was blessed with fantastic parents who prepared me pretty well for the shitty place that is the real world.  Maybe that’s why I’m always amazed by some of the ways parents screw their kids up from the get-go.

I recently had a conversation with a friend of mine who is a 20-year-old virgin. She’s a very attractive girl and she’s not hanging onto her virginity for religious reasons, so I delved a little deeper to see what the deal was.  I came to the conclusion that her mom has planted a seed of shame about sex into her mind, and it pissed me off a little bit.  My friend told me that her mom thinks that masturbation is wrong and even saying the word is something dirty.  Of course, this feeling of shame about your body is Old Testament guilt that does more harm than good.  A lot of girls faced with this situation go the other way and act out sexually as a way to rebel or just because the lack of dialogue about sex in the houseold has them curious.  Of course, I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the internet.  Everything I have to say on the topic could be garbage, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got a decent grasp on the situation.

This is a strange country because we are so much more comfortable with violence than we are sex.  You can flip through the channels right now and find a dozen movies with graphic violence and guns blazing, but heaven forbid we see a womans nipple.  I’m a part of it, too.  I saw my first rated R movie when I was about 10.  I NEVER had the official birds and the bees talk with my parents. I learned what I know by talking to friends who started early and then through my own experiences.  But things would have been much easier with an open dialogue in my house.  I was never ashamed of sex because it’s much more acceptable for guys to do what they want sexually than it is for girls. It’s 2009, and sex is fantastic.  These two things should lead us in a direction towards openness on the topic.  Why are we so ashamed of sex as a country?  It’s your responsibility as a parent to prepare your kids for life, and sex is a big part of that.  Ignoring the topic puts your kids behind the learning curve and can often leave them a mess on the topic that somebody else has to wade their way through because you didn’t do your job.  Just because you talk to a kid about sex doesn’t mean that they are going to sleep with the next 10 people they see on the street.  Get a hold of yourselves old people and move into this century.  Stop filling your daughters with shame and teach them some life lessons.  I’ve got plenty more to say on this topic and I’m sure it will come out in future articles, but that’s all for this week.

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